Anger Management

We've all been there. You feel like screaming so hard your sound waves blow people away. If you were batting instead of Yuvraj Singh in the IPL, you feel you could smash the biggest six that has ever been hit. You wanna take your mind off it. You pick up a book and try reading it but can't go past page 2. You wanna hear someone shout! Or at least rant. So you pull up George Carlin's videos on Youtube. But you've already laughed and guffawed at all of them. As a last resort, you play ‘Anger Management’ but can’t watch that atrocious movie beyond 13 min. What the fu*k is wrong with the world! You wanna grab a bottle and smash it to pieces. The sound, oh that sound! Only that sound can satisfy this most passionate feeling of rage. Or can it?

There are many ways to vent anger. But although the above may seem like the most natural things to do, venting by itself is not the ultimate aim of anger. The purpose of anger is to have its subject at your feet and beg for forgiveness! You want them to burn in the fire of self-repentance and cry till their eyes dissolve! That is the principal goal of anger.

But alas, anger in its purest form can only be experienced if you know you’re right. Confusion has no place in this. If you have the slightest of doubts about your right to be pissed, then I’m afraid you’ll be deprived of a wrath that ancient Indian sadhus enjoyed when they cursed their subject of anger to die lest they intended to make love and so on. It’s an awesome feeling of self-righteousness, this unbridled anger. It may even border on the sadistic! But don’t worry, you aren't doing anything wrong. The person’s asking for it.

"I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" is what you feel like

Don’t let others confuse you. Running 5 miles in the gym won’t solve this. No amount of punches on boxing bags will quench this. There is no damn way of channeling this anger “constructively” (and that includes writing blogs like these). This is the time for destruction! Destruction of your subject’s very idea of happiness. Any means to achieve that is justified.

And that my friend is what anger management is all about.